As I continue on my journey to be the healthiest me that I can be, I am constantly on the lookout for additional things that will help my body and my mind continue to heal and work more efficiently. Fortunately, and unfortunately, the great wide world of the internet puts access to information about possible additions to my routine just keystrokes away. Fortunate, because it is a hell of a lot easier to just “google” something on my phone, iPad or computer than having to bus to the local public library to look it up in the periodicals or if it’s a good day, the search might require a visit with the micro-fiche (google that shit if you don’t know what the hell I am talking about.)
Unfortunately for me, because often times, the vastness of the information at my fingertips wields me utterly useless and I abort my google search before garnering much, if any, useful or pertinent information. Rabbit holes are everywhere and I have learned from experience that my MS riddled mind can get lost for hours and come out not even remembering what it was I was in search of to begin with.
So I usually don’t immediately research something new that I have heard of. I will jot it down in my ever present notebook, adding it to my constantly growing “to research” page. If something comes up more than once; if I hear about it from another MSer, see it in an article and then have someone ask if I am currently taking what ever it is, well then that new thing jumps to the top of the list to be researched, investigated and if all goes well, then tried.
Which is what happened with mushrooms.
I had actually begun taking a Reishi mushroom extract last spring, but it was just one of those things that fell off the routine schedule. My supply ran out and I forgot to reorder. Shortly thereafter, I completely forgot that I was supposed to order a new supply. A week after that, I wouldn’t recall having taken the mushroom, unless you asked me by name, which would trigger my memory of being on it. Which in turn would lead to me wondering why I had stopped taking it.
Thank goodness I write EVERYTHING down and I was able to track it back to the fact that I was no longer taking it because I FORGOT to reorder it and not because it didn’t help, or caused adverse effects.
(**This is actually one of the dangers of trying new things. Finding something that is actually helping and then forgetting about it simply because it has not become enough a part of my routine to feel I am missing something if I don’t take it. That is how it has become with the other supplements I am currently taking. I know how many pills, how many gummies and how many droppers I have to down and if that routine is broken up, I am extremely aware of it. My routine is off and there for, I am off. Not to the point of not being able to continue about my day, but enough so that I will make sure to order it from Amazon or add it to the grocery list immediately.**)
So when mushrooms came up for the fourth or fifth time and more specifically Reishi and Lion’s Mane, it triggered my memory that I had actually been on the former and had been encouraged by the results. I promptly did the research and ordered a mushroom product.
The bottle says take one pill three times a day, and so both Shawn and I started out with that. Him because he is one to follow what it says on the side of the bottle, and me, because I figured I usually require far more than the suggested dosage and starting off where everyone else is starting seemed as good a place as any.
Interestingly enough, we both tweaked our dosage to 2 a day within the first week. Him because he never remembered to take one with him to work and so having one in the morning with breakfast and one at night with dinner is what was working for him in regards to remembering (which is part of why he choose to try this supplement along with me in the first place:).
Me, because it did something really weird, and more than slightly unsettling for me. It quieted the voice that lives in my head, the one that has always driven me to do things. Whether good or bad, it has always been there, a constant companion, never silent, rarely quiet, guiding me forward. Sometimes with encouragement, other times with shame and judgment but ALWAYS there. Always.
Until I was taking three of the mushroom pills, and the voice settled and then was silent.
Now I realize that this migh† be a sign that the shit was actually helping me a whole lot, as in it was resolving my mental issues of having a mind that incessantly talks back to me, but for me, it was unsettling.
I tried to sit with it. I tried to let it settle and I tried to be ok with it but it wasn’t working. My days felt somehow empty and alone, although I was following the same schedule and routines as always. I was with Shawn and the dogs and yet I felt….uneasy? Off? Weird? Empty? Alone? Not right.
The best way I can describe it would be unsettled.
So I pulled back to two and it got a bit better. The voice returned, just at a lower volume than it has ever managed in the past, but it’s back and that’s good.
In the meantime one may wonder why I continued to take the pills at all if I felt “unsettled.” The reason is that at the same time that I was feeling “unsettled” I was also feeling something else. Or rather I wasn’t feeling something. A lot of the numbness and deadness that I experience in my feet and legs at all times of the day and night began to feel better. Not completely gone better, but notably and day after day, it was feeling slightly better, and so I am currently taking two a day and waiting.
I’ll let you know how it goes:)
Sending good vibes!
**This is my personal blog and all opinions are my own. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one here on my blog. The content here is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is solely intended to inform people of what is working for my body and my disease. Everyone is different and everyone needs to go on their own journey with this disease. THIS IS MY JOURNEY**