THIS IS A PIECE I WROTE IN 2018 BUT NEVER PUBLISHED…..
FIGURED I WOULD PUT IT ON HERE BEFORE GOING STATIC AS IT GIVES ANOTHER TINY SLICE OF THE STORY.
FALL 2018
I didn’t mean to disappear. I didn’t mean to go MIA. I didn’t mean to go silent and stop sharing my story. In my defense, I didn’t REALLY AND COMPLETELY shut-up. I have continued to document my MMJ adventures over on my Instagram account – but really that is just a lame excuse…I left you all hanging and for that, I apologize. But I have been super busy – getting healthier and stronger – and apparently that shit takes time and energy. I am alive and living again and I have cannabis and cbd to thank for that.
It’s always a bit hard to jump right back in – because I can’t remember what I have told you and what I have yet to share – and if you happen to follow some of my social media accounts I may have mentioned some things there – but I have no idea….I just know a shit ton has happened since we last hung out. I lived through the three graduations we had this spring (two from high-school and one from college!) I got married! My two boys and my “almost a cop” stepson lived with us which led to plenty of good times and laughs and the consumption of a shit ton of meat – by them, not me, because with this new “listening to my body thing” that I have been trying out – I am pretty much OFF meat – but I will leave that for another post. I have been out hiking (longest one to date was 6 miles!) I have been fishing and camping and we have even done some more “serious” traveling – Shawn and I took my three kids to visit my folks on Martha’s Vineyard – a belated “honeymoon” of sorts.
Just like before – when I schlepped a granny-sized pill box around with me, filled to the brim with the medications my doctors had prescribed, I have had my cannabis and my cbd with me every step of the way because it is my MEDICINE and is allowing me to live life again. I bring and consume everywhere I go. I take my joints and pipe on my daily walks through the neighborhood. I had my bong with me on every fishing trip we went on. I hit my vape pen and consumed edibles while hiking and camping. I shipped and consumed a large number of joints at my parent’s house on the island and I may have even hot boxed my 80 year olf fathers Subaru a few times while on vacation. The relief from the chronic pain and the improvements to some of my cognitive issues have been game changers. I have gotten my life back and to be perfectly honest I am no longer willing to suffer through NOT being medicated. So I take it with me EVERYWHERE I go, and I tell as many people as I possibly can. It may be TMI but I want them to know that I have MS and that I have cannabis because truthfully, I look pretty damn healthy and pretty fucking happy these days and so I want people to know.
For the first time in a long time, I am listening to my body and I am making decisions with it’s best interest at heart. I am paying attention to what I put in it (haven’t had a cigarette since the day I quit!) and I am stretching and moving all the time again. I am walking every single day. I have ridden a bike, gone kayaking, fishing, hiking and swimming! I am back to doing the things that I used to do; all the things that I thought I had lost to this disease and the damn pain. I am down 40 lbs and back to loving my body for its strength and perseverance and I am respecting it for what it can again handle.
I am not making a claim to be cured – I am not even making an assertion that my disease is any better. I still have pain, but I can now manage it with cannabis and cbd. I no longer have to rely on a deadly mixture of pain-killers and alcohol to simply make it through the day. I still have issues with my MS fog – it often feels as if I am watching my life play out through a fogged up lens. My vision goes to shit numerous times throughout the day, bright lights make my head pound and sometimes my strong ass legs have just had enough and are done and I fall down or collapse to the ground. Some days it seems no amount of medicating will help clear my mind and bring the world back into focus BUT there are also many good times/days. There are moments when my disease and what it does to me every minute of every day is NOT what I am thinking about every minute of every day. Cannabis and CBD gave me the opportunity to begin to take the steps towards living a healthier life and for that, I will be forever grateful
I have a lot more to share about WHAT I am using, WHAT I have tried and what I have learned – but am working on not OVER writing – keeping the posts shorter – so the task of writing them doesn’t seem so daunting. I am also once again going to try and write MORE often – we shall see – but I am HERE – and I am doing so many exciting things – if you check out my IG page, you can get a glimpse or two of #Doug – our first clone and first attempt at growing my medicine ourselves.
So with that, I will sign off – with the hopes of being back here a lot more often. If nothing else, the past two years has taught me that I really can do anything I set my mind to – and so I will try and make changes that lead me back here more often because I really want to continue to share what I have learned about these amazing plants and continue to share our journey into learning how to grow my own medicine!
**This is my personal blog and all opinions are my own. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one here on my blog. The content here is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is solely intended to inform people of what is working for my body and my disease. Everyone is different and everyone needs to go on their own journey with this disease. THIS IS MY JOURNEY**